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Artilleries in Arteries by ~X-lesbian-X:iconX-lesbian-X:



I've walked into a maze
with the shape of a Mitochondrion.
Athletes say it's a marathon,
but I cannot seem to run.

Here they have artilleries.
Artilleries in arteries.
Here they have terrorists.
Terrorists in ovaries.

And they say it's just their humor,
but I prefer to call it 'tumor'.

In the distance I see angels
giving medals to anyone,
to anyone who has a gun.

In the distance I see virgins
throwing flowers at anyone,
at anyone who kills for fun.

Here they have colonels,
liquidating colonies.
Here they have generals,
liquidating generally.   
  
And they claim war is just pure humor,
but I know that it's a tumor.

They say warfare's not meant to be fair,
That combat neurosis is just a symbiosis,
That capitalism is more than just materialism.

But the one they really worship
is the god of every warship.
When metal replaces mental –
The worship of warships.

Forever and ever.
Forever endeavour -
War. It's their saviour.

Here they have artilleries.
Artilleries in arteries.

Engage in battle;
You are married for life!
©2008-2009 ~X-lesbian-X
:iconx-lesbian-x:

Author's Comments

Done for SparrowSong 's Workshop: Sound devices
[link]

Actually, I rewrote this poem for the workshop...

I know I need to improve a lot of things in it, I just didn't have the time, and also not enough inspiration.

Hopefully, I improve it soon...

5/9/08 - I edited the poem a bit.

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 1 1 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:icongalice:
"Artilleries in arteries" - brilliant ))

--
Why sadomize dragonflies?
:iconunfeelingalloy:
First of all, from one who is at war right now and doesn't agree with this whole business over here - I certainly empathize with your thought in this piece.

Secondly ... sound devices, you say? The ones in this are outstanding! Very well done - a cleverly written poem which nonetheless packs quite a message.

--
no, i don't think we should be in the middle east.

groups
:iconx-lesbian-x:
Thank you!

Yeah, I'm from Israel, so war isn't so far away from me.

I'd glad you like it, though I think I could have used them better in my piece, should have maybe emphasise them more...

--
"We look to the clouds for they form epic pictures.
Meaningful to some, meaningless to others." - Mournful Congregation.
:iconx-lesbian-x:
תודה, זאופילית

--
"We look to the clouds for they form epic pictures.
Meaningful to some, meaningless to others." - Mournful Congregation.
:iconunfeelingalloy:
Well, I'm sorry you're so close to war. You've probably had some sort of threat of it your whole life, then. :/

Hmmm, if you used them too much then they might be more noticeable. As it is they're just subtle enough to make you do a doubletake even while reading it. It's very catchy.

--
no, i don't think we should be in the middle east.

groups
:iconx-lesbian-x:
You think so?
To me they seem a bit awekward at times.
And I think they interrupt the flow of the poem...

I don't know, maybe it's just me.

--
"We look to the clouds for they form epic pictures.
Meaningful to some, meaningless to others." - Mournful Congregation.
:iconunfeelingalloy:
Well, I'm always more critical of my own work than other people are. I know other writers/artists are, too.

It may be that I've not read much sound device poetry, but I really did like it. ;)

--
no, i don't think we should be in the middle east.

groups
:iconqueen-of-marigold:
I love the colonels and generals stanza!
War is an ugly business indeed :(

--
"Come my friends, 'tis not too late to seek a newer world." -- Tennyson
:iconmintleaves:
My favorite lines from this poem are:
"In the distance I see angels
giving medals to anyone,
to anyone who has a gun.

In the distance I see virgins
throwing flowers at anyone,
at anyone who kills for fun."

It's just such an ironic and memorable image. A

The subject matter in this poem is definitely relevant to all of us these days...And is a timeless theme, as long as we have wars. Hopefully someday people won't fight, but I am sadly certain that it won't be in my lifetime.

Really good job!

--
it's spring when the world is puddle-wonderful

Details

September 2, 2008
1.4 KB

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